How to harass your servants with class

Rich Russians learning etiquette

I mentioned in my review of Nick McDonell’s book, Quiet Street: on American Privilege, that Russians in elite Moscow circles lack the noblesse oblige and etiquette that was drilled into Nick and his classmates at their elite prep school. In some ways the lack of noblesse oblige among Russia’s nouveau riche is more brutally honest. They’re not hiding their love of social hierarchies. But it can lead to scandals, like one that happened a decade ago after Maria Baibakova published a guide on how to treat your servants in Russia’s Tatler magazine.

Maria is an art matron and was the youngest member on the board of Barnard College and has been involved with a myriad of art institutions. She also runs her own nonprofit, Baibakov Art Projects. The New Yorker called her Peggy Guggenheim of Russia. Naturally, she didn’t come from nowhere. Her oligarch dad, Oleg Baibakov, is the one who’s been bankrolling her art world rise. He used to be on the board of directors of Norilsk Nickel — the largest producer of refined nickel in the world. The concern initially was developed during Stalin times with slave labour from the Gulags and was privatized in the 1990s through Yeltsin’s loans for shares scheme — essentially stolen from the public.

Maria Baibakova with her dad and stepmom. Hard to tell who is his daughter just like in dystopian sci-fi movie “In Time” (2011)

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So what happened is that Maria wrote a long piece for the Russian edition of Tatler about the etiquette of managing one’s servants, which she learned at the Institut Villa Pierrefeu, a Swiss finishing school. She gave a very detailed and honest account on how she manages her household. I remember reading it when it came out and was shocked that it got published. Tatler is a glamorous magazine but inflaming class hatred in this direct and aggressive way seemed too careless even for them. The piece would be fitting as a personal letter from Maria to her girlfriends who want to learn the “civilized way” of running their mansions near Moscow. But it was clearly wrong for the eyes of the common people.

What did she recommend? Things like allowing only your son’s tutor to sit at your dinner table, so that the boy could respect him and thus learn better. But your daughter’s governess should not be allowed at the dinner table because respecting her is not that important. Other suggestions included not raising your voice while reprimanding your servants because they are not your equals and showing emotion is appropriate only with equals.

Also one shouldn’t give the maid your old clothing, since wearing expensive designer clothing (even if from last year’s collection) might make them forget their station. Even if you feel bad you should only tersely apologize to servants, for instance if you wrongfully accused them of stealing. She also recommended against hiring Filipino maids, which are widespread in Moscow because they’re cheap and people like that they don’t speak Russian, which provides privacy. Maria is against it because she thinks they’re untrustworthy but mainly because their lack of Russian means that you’ll have to work for them (like translating for them at a doctor’s office) and make other servants work more (like forcing your chauffeur to shop for groceries instead of her). If you want to learn more about her ladyship Maria’s views here are more rules.

Anyway, someone translated Maria's Talter piece into English and it caused an outrage in western media and she was compelled to apologize for her “crude and insensitive remarks” and take down her piece. The thing is, she only apologized in English only to her western lib counterparts because a month later she was supposed to be honored at an art gala as a Renaissance Woman .

It’s curious that Maria mentioned that a majority of her classmates at that Swiss etiquette school were Asian or Middle Eastern, and that she was one of the few “westerners.” One of her classmates, Sarah Jane Ho of Hong Kong, was so inspired that she even opened a version of this school in Beijing and Shanghai, and was a host of a Netflix reality TV show Mind Your Manners. Sarah Jane interviewed Maria a few years ago in New York where she seemed to be mostly interested in Putin’s health lifehacks and how much money Maria spent on the art works in her apartment. The nouveau riche of the Red Bourgeusie — in China and Russia — are very similar indeed.

The Baibakov family — from defending communism to looting communism in one generation.

Maria does stand out among the kids of the 1990s Russia Oligarchs. She identifies as a feminist and wants to work, unlike many other offsprings who are just layabouts, dabblers, degenerates or rich housewives with clothing boutiques. The other two similar Russian art matrons that come to mind are Dasha Zhukova, the ex-wife of Roman Abramovich, the founder of Sibneft that is now Gazprom. She opened Garage, the first contemporary art museum in Moscow, and has been on a mission to “civilize” Russians by bringing them western art fresh from American and European galleries and biennials. And the other one is Victoria Michelson, daughter of Leonid Mikhelson, head of the gas company Novatek and the 4th richest man in Russia. She has her own art non profit VAC that stands for “Victoria the Art of Being Contemporary”. She is currently the head of a new sprawling cultural centre and museum GES-2, a former power station that her daddy bought and renovated with the help of Renzo Piano, the architect behind Whitney museum, Centre Pompidou…

I guess it’s nothing new under the sun. Historically art matrons were either from industrialist families or were married to an industrialist. So in a way Russia is becoming “normal” and these women should be indeed championed as Russia’s Peggies Guggenheim.

—Evgenia

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